Random Wishes



I wish Bo hadn’t died. I wish I had him
back.

I wish you wouldn’t be afraid to speak his name.
Bo lived and was very important
to me. I need to hear that he was important
to you also.

When I cry and get emotional when you talk about
Bo I wish you knew that it isn’t because you
have hurt me.

I wish you wouldn’t "kill" Bo again by removing
his pictures from your home.

I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you
would let me talk about Bo.

I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to be over
in six months. I wish you could understand that my
grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of
Bo until the day I die.

I wish you wouldn’t expect me "not to think
about it" or to "be happy."

When I say "I’m doing okay," I wish you could
understand that I don’t "feel" okay and that I
struggle daily.

I wish you understood that when Bo died, a big part of me
died with him. I am not the same person I was
before Bo died, and I will never be that
person again.

I wish very much that you could understand
— understand my loss and my grief, my silence
and my tears, my void and my pain. AND I pray
daily that you will never understand.

HOWL of Pain. That's what I'm drunk and doing when I look at these pictures.
HOOOOOOWL!!!!!!!!!!

HOOOOOOWL!!!!!!!!!!


HOOOOOOWL!!!!!!!!!!


HOOOOOOWL!!!!!!!!!!


HOOOOOOWL!!!!!!!!!!


HOOOOOOWL!!!!!!!!!!


HOOOOOOWL!!!!!!!!!!


I almost can't stand how beautiful he was.
Damn it.